Blue Sunday

So today, I'm feeling a little blue. Not sad, really - just not happy. Trying to figure it out will probably drive me a little nuts - but it's worth a shot. Tired already of watching television, sitting in one place all day and taking pain pills. My almost DIL came over yesterday and helped out (a little), which makes me feel like an invalid. Healthwise, I guess I'm alright. The incision looks to be healing fine (great reality check looking that over....) I still have absolutely no stomach muscle- if it kills me I will have control over the roll that sits on my thighs right now - gravity is certainly not my friend today! No plans for today, really - I think I might attempt just a little housework in the kitchen....later. Right now, my chair is calling me (again) Hope to have a more uplifting update later on today.....

Well, it's been 5 days since the surgery. I guess by anyone's standards I'm doing fine. I'm still a bit anxious to hear the pathology report - and I will find that out on Wednesday at my appointment. I'm not expecting anything too terrible, it's just the unknown of it all. I'm still not getting around the best. Kind of like a little old man - holding my tummy so it won't fall off! I had my first sneezes and coughs this morning - I don't want any more of that! Felt like my incision was going to blast apart - but it didn't - still sewn and stapled together.
My tumm is also swollen. I've been doing some research into everything and I guess that's normal too. It's embarassing to say that I'm having the hardest time doing the simplest personal tasks. Use your imagination for that, but I know it will get easier with time. I don't want to wish time away, so I'm going to have to find something to occupy me until it gets easier. So, blogging? Maybe it will help pass some of it.
So today - slept fitfully through the night. Still sleeping in the living room on the borrowed recliner (thanks, Audrey!) It's allowing me to get up and down easier until the incision heals some more. The Doc says I don't really need that, but after all, he's not the one who's doing the up and down thing, is he? So...both times I woke up, the dogs look at me like "is it time for potty?" So, of course I oblige. Unfortunately, yesterday we had the most snow we've had all year, so I could only stand on the porch and hope that they would listen to me. They did. I feel badly for the "boys" (henceforth cows and goat), as I am unable to go outside and feed them. They are so used to their early morning late evening feedings - Daddy has them on once a day. I'm still not eating normally - just nibbling here and there or "grazing". Trying to drink more so that my food will "flow" through my body better and make a "clean exit". Clever, huh? So, going for my comfort food tonight - Hamburger Mac - or cheeseburger macaroni as most say. It's my most comforting meal. Reminds me of my mom, believe it or not. She wasn't much of a cook, but she made a mean Hamburger Mac, and it made her feel accomplished that I loved it. I'm also going to take my first shower at home today (I'm starting to smell a bit), then I should feel a little more "normal"

It's been a very long time since I've blogged. Since no one has read any of them, I don't feel so guilty. It's like my own personal venting space....just out there. Somewhere. Today is Saturday, January 7th. In two days I will have my surgery (ladyparts) and I'm very melancholy about it. I've had about two months to go over every scenario that could happen in my head, and I've gone about planning what would happen if I were not to make it through the surgery. Melancholy, right? So many women have had the same surgery and come through relatively unscathed - why should I be any different? Again - too much time. My husband and I had a pretty good row this morning, which is very unusual for me, as I don't like to argue, but I just felt the need to say what was on my mind. For once. Hopefully the rest of my weekend will be better than this morning. I would hate to start the surgery in less than a hopeful mood. Wish me luck! I'll be back after the surgery, assuming all goes well. Perhaps - no, scratch that- definitely with a better attitude.
Happy New Year!!

We had a July 4th celebration here yesterday. Just the kids, the in-laws and us - chicken, hamburgers, sausage and hot dogs on the grill, along with the salads - macaroni, potato and pasta! The weather couldn't have been more beautiful - sunny and mid 80's.

My d-i-l and I had decided that we were going to see the 3rd "Twilight" movie, Eclipse yesterday. Thought that we'd give the crowds a chance to dissipate a bit. We were right - got just the seats we wanted and a

milkshake to boot! Loved, loved, loved the movie!!! I know, a bit kiddish, right? But it was very romantic and was, I think, the best movie out of the three.

We went to the 9:25 showing, so when we came back it was going on midnight. The boys were in the back with a roaring fire and had imbibed a bit of "joy juice". My son gets very talkative when he does this...I wish he felt as comfortable talking to us when he's not. But - the fire was lovely - had some quality time with the kids...All is well with the world....

Rain, rain go away.....it's a monsoon outside! Woke up during the night to the sound of thunder and pouring rain - fell back asleep, tho. When I finally woke up this morning there was a pond - no - small lake in my front yard! We really must do something about that dip (crater?) in the front yard.

The chicken coop is under water near the gate - luckily I put fresh hay inside of the coop so that the girls (and the one randy rooster) nice and dry and comfy. The boys unfortunately will be mad at me for quite some time, as they are still in their temporary shelter - there's something about two-by-fours, a large tarp and two old shed doors that a house don't make! Didn't see them today - Fran took care of them. Hopefully they will forgive me in time!

I feel beat up today. I actually feel my age. Woke up later than I wanted to , but got the dishes done. We tied out the boys (Harry and Ron) so that they could get the feel of grass under their feet and also give me the opportunity to muck their stall (yuchh!). But it got done. Hubby, in the meantime, needed my assistance in starting the garden (about time ya think?) We had a heck of a time getting that started! Two years in the making.

So...he broke the hoe, I bought a new hoe at Delta Lumber (ran into Gary...I looked and smelled like poop!), then had to run to DG for more hose. In each instance I was hoping not to run into anyone, but you know what happens when you wish for that!! Yup! Ran into friends in both locations! What they must think!!! Oh, well.....!

So....tomatoes are in, green beans are in, canteloupe is in, early corn is in, radishes are in, green peppers are in. Think that's about it for now. We also are the proud parents of two young apple trees that are going in at the end of the garden! I'm hoping for a good harvest, and I'm going to locate a recipe for using crab apples which we seem to have in abundance this year.

I think that we should have done this 20 years ago, but the time just wasn't right. We'll make the best of it. Wish me luck!!!